


spread your wings, butterfly

by growlery



Category: Some Girls (BBC)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending to 2x04. The girls go back to Amber’s after the party and attempt to cheer Saz up. With kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	spread your wings, butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to go the way of OT4 but my Saz/Viva feelings got in the way. Oops. The title is from Wings by Little Mix.

“So wait,” Holli says, “if you actually for real like Morgan, doesn’t that make you an actual for real lesbian?”

“I don’t know,” Saz says, sounding somewhere between confused and vaguely miserable. She’s been hovering there since they left the party. (Viva’s kind of grateful for the distraction, herself, even though she knows it makes her kind of a bad friend. Anything is better than thinking about what a massive arsehole Tyler turned out to be.) “Maybe?”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Amber says, “you's bisexual.”

Viva turns to stare at her for a second. “What?”

“You know,” Amber says, like what she said didn’t just actually make sense, “bisexual. When you like girls and guys and people who ain’t girls or guys.” She shrugs. “Everyone’s different.”

Viva stares at her some more. “Yeah,” she says finally, turning back to Saz. “Maybe you’re bisexual. You do still like Joe, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Saz says, brightening for a minute, but it’s barely a few seconds before she’s miserable again. It probably wasn’t the best idea to remind her of the guy she liked who promptly emigrated to Australia. “I don’t know. It’s not like I’m ever going to find out now, is it?” Her breath hitches. “I can’t believe Morgan likes Holli and not me.”

“I can,” Holli says cheerfully. “It’s ’cos I’m so pretty and lovely, innit.”

Saz looks vaguely like she might burst into tears. Or like she wants to stab Holli with her eyes, Viva can’t quite tell. 

“Not helping, Hol,” Viva says through clenched teeth, and Holli actually looks contrite. 

“Sorry,” she mutters. “I _could_ help, you know.”

“How,” Saz says flatly. “How exactly could you do anything but make this worse.”

“I could kiss you,” Holli suggests, “and then you could see if you was, you know, whatever.”

Saz stares at her for a few seconds, and then she bursts out laughing. 

“What?” Holli says, defensive. 

“No offence, Holli,” Saz tells her, “but I’d rather pluck out every last one of the hairs on my legs with a tweezer.”

The three of them wince simultaneously. 

“I don’t think it’s such a good idea either,” Viva has to agree, and then adds under her breath, “though I wouldn’t go quite _that_ far.”

“Well, I think it’s a great idea,” Amber says, beaming at Saz. “Though you should kiss me, not Holli. I’m a great kisser, you’d probably like it even if you don’t like girls.” She closes her eyes, puckers up her lips and says, “Go on, Saz, kiss me!”

“No, Saz, kiss _me_ ,” Holli insists, jostling Amber out of the way. “I’m a way better kisser than Amber.”

“I,” Saz says, looking suddenly overwhelmed. “Um.”

“You don’t have to kiss either of them,” Viva reassures her, because someone has to be the voice of reason here, and if that someone is basically always her, well. It’s not like she really minds. “ _Do_ you want to, Saz?”

“I don’t know,” Saz says, her voice small and sad again. “Sorry. I know you’re just trying to cheer me up. But I’m so confused. I don’t know what I want.”

“Come on, Saz,” Holli says, “we’re your best mates. If you can’t kiss us, who _can_ you kiss?”

Saz is silent for a few moments, and then she says, “I suppose you have a point.”

Holli brightens immediately. “So you’re gonna kiss me, then?”

“No,” Amber says crossly, “she’s going to kiss-”

Saz lurches up, locks onto her target with the kind of determination she usually only reserves for complex equations, and strikes. 

“Viva,” Amber finishes, sounding put out. 

“Viva?” Holli repeats, frowning. 

“Umph?” Viva says, because Saz is still kissing her sort of intensely, both her hands cupping the back of her neck to keep her in place, and it’s not like she can do much else with her mouth but kiss back right now. 

Actually, no. That’s not true, not even a little bit. 

Viva doesn’t _have_ to kiss Saz back. Viva could push Saz away without even trying, if she wanted. But she got hurt tonight, too, can still feel the anger sparking in her veins, and it feels good, kissing like this, all teeth and tongue and rough all over. It doesn’t even occur to her to enjoy it, not really, not the way she enjoyed kissing Tyler or, fuck, Rocky, but it’s still good, in a visceral kind of way, touching and being touched. 

And then Saz dials back the intense-o-meter a unit or five, stops pretty much just attacking Viva’s mouth with her own, and it goes from good to the kind of painfully sweet that makes Viva’s toes curl and her heart thump harder in her chest. 

Saz is still holding her, but one of her hands has moved from the back of Viva’s neck to the side of her face, and it’s a gentle, warm pressure that feels like years and years of friendship and something... else, something new and terrifying and kind of actually-

“So?” Holli demands, and Viva promptly jumps back like she’s been burnt. 

She forgot Holli and Amber were even there. She forgot Saz was only kissing her to see if she’s, you know, whatever. 

Saz’s eyes are still closed, her mouth slightly open, wet and a little sore-looking where Viva was biting at it. Viva averts her gaze when she notices, stares fixedly at the wall behind Saz’s head. 

Saz kissed her. She kissed Saz. Kissing happened, with her, and Saz, in front of Holli and Amber. 

“Are you a lesbian or not?” Holli says impatiently, and Amber pipes up, “Or bisexual.”

Saz opens her eyes slowly, looking kind of dazed. “I have no idea,” she tells them, and she’s smiling, a little bit, her face going all crinkly and warm. “But I definitely like kissing girls.”

Viva looks up, her eyes wide. “Oh,” is all she can say. 

“Are you sure?” Holli says sceptically. “Are you sure you don’t wanna kiss me to _make_ sure? Maybe you just like kissing Viva.”

And just like that, Viva’s heart starts pounding again, but Saz just rolls her eyes. 

“Hair,” she says, “ _tweezer_.” Holli glares at her, but she’s not even trying, not really. “And anyway,” she says boldly, “maybe I do just like kissing Viva. Would that be weird?”

“No,” Viva says quickly, far too quickly. “Why would it be weird?”

“Because you’re not, you know,” Saz says, waving a vaguely expressive hand. “Whatever.”

“You don’t know that,” Viva says. “I might be.”

“Oh,” Saz says, and she sounds just like Viva did, before, and Viva thinks maybe this isn’t quite so terrifying after all. 

She smiles tentatively at Saz, and Saz smiles back.


End file.
